I’ve often thought about grabbing a bottle of Just for Men. Then I remember that my dad did the same thing, once, and ended up looking like Elvis Presley. I’m sensitive about my age and I’m not even that old – I’m 43. The silver hair, as I’ve been told, gives the game away. But I should rejoice in this, if that’s all it is that makes me look more mature.

I’m a bit less anxious and neurotic than in my teens; I’m physically healthier than I was in my twenties; I’m fitter and stronger, now, than I was in my thirties. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink that much - my skin is grateful for both. I have a zest for life. I still wear Adidas Gazelles.

My age never used to be an issue in my previous life. There were six of us who started at the BBC at the same time as twentysomethings. We celebrated landmark birthdays together; we went to each other’s weddings; we celebrated the arrival of our children. The anxiety over leaving and then later starting a teacher training course, was potentially feeling like the odd one out. The old(er) man. Who is going to want to be my friend? Don’t leave me out, please. I’m nice.

Thankfully, feeling isolated has never happened.

When there have been jokes, it’s because I’ve initiated them. Maybe I was trying to get there first. I’ve joked that my relationship with my wife is older than some of the cohort. I’ve told my fellow trainees about the world before the internet and the National Curriculum; when Donald Trump was remembered for playing a cameo in Home Alone 2, and giving Kevin that creepy look. I have been teased over whether I worked with a little chalkboard slate when I was a kid, not far off… But I’m liked, I think. We bond over shared passions and new experiences, not because of when we were born.

Seriously, my age anxiety is likely related to the death of my mum. She underwent chemo and radiotherapy during my last year at university. Following a mastectomy and more treatment, she got the all clear, only for the cancer to return. At 43, she had been nearing the end of her life. I find this impossible to deal with. Impossible and terrifying.

I feel lucky for every day. Mum’s death has been a motivator in my life. When I was miserable in my last job I didn’t hesitate in handing in my notice. Life is too short. Also, when I’m feeling anxious ahead of a tricky teaching day, I think of her. What was mum doing this time 20 years ago? Trying to stay alive. There’s no comparison. I can do this.

Teacher Training is Unifying.

Going through the same experience, like teacher training, is unifying. It does not matter about your age; it doesn’t matter about your life experience. Ultimately, you’re learning, failing, celebrating and struggling, together. Being older doesn’t mean I’m doing any better. I’m finding it as tough as anyone else. I have wobbles. For example, the other day, I felt so low. I couldn’t hide my feelings. I just wanted to go home and cry. I thought I should be the one picking people up, making them feel better, because I’m the older person. Once I’d shaken off these feelings, with the help of a run, I reached out to those who were upset. We made each other feel better. The next day, a friend on the course sent me a video that cheered me up. I was so touched by this.

We are all in this together. We cannot do it without each other. Whatever age we are.

Neil Heath, Art and Design trainee

As alumni of the Teaching Hub NPQLTD programme we spoke to Libby to find out more about what made her decide to complete her NPQ, and her advice to others who are looking at this route of professional development.

"I decided to complete a National Professional Qualification (NPQ) in Leading Teacher Development because I am really interested in developing my own pedagogical practice and supporting other colleagues to develop their personal practice."

"The NPQLTD was perfect as it allowed me to explore CPD in a wider context and I had the opportunity to do some interesting reading and research."

"I found the whole experience fascinating, I really enjoyed the case studies and applying my research to different contexts. The most challenging part was only being able to write a specific word limit for the assessment! The most rewarding part was passing!"

"My advice to anyone considering an NPQ in Leading Teacher Development is that it's really worthwhile. I would definitely take the time to be familiar with the Blackboard platform. That was a useful space to record notes and ideas as you read."

Get in touch

If you're interested in finding out more about our NPQ programme, including requirements, costs, and registration dates, please get in touch with us via our website, emailing enquiries@redhillhub.org.uk or by telephone to 07831 324 490.